The Bellow Boy
by DeadShaggy
Summary: Second chapter added. Come on in, and see why Genma and Soun need more hobbies.
1. Ryouga Can Use the Door

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2, heck, I don't even want to take credit for this story.

The Bellow Boy

"Finally, I've gotten back to the Tendo Dojo again," Ryouga smiled wearily as opened the gate. "The only problem... IS THAT I WANTED TO GO HOME!!" He bellowed.

"Whoa, how'd you find your way back here so fast, P-Chan? Took a cab?" Ranma popped his head out of the guestroom window.

"Actually, I took t- s-shut up!" Ryouga yelled.

"What're you gonna do if I don't? Come up here and beat me up? Ha! All I hafta do is stand in a corner and you'll _never_ find me!" Ranma taunted.

"Die Ranma!" Ryouga shouted and charged the door, he turned the knob and was annoyed to find that the door was locked. He banged on the door while screaming, "Saotome! Why won't anyone open the door for me?!" he didn't dare bust it open, last time he did that Nabiki charged him for the repairs, he didn't have that much money and didn't want to be sued.

"Probably because I'm the only one here!" Ranma laughed.

"How is that possible?! With all the girls you're leading on I thought you'd sneak at least one in! That's it! You've got some girl in your room and that's why you don't want me to get in!1 You cad, Saotome, if you keep leading poor Akane on like this I'll steal your slippers!!" Ryouga bellowed.

"You stupid so- huh? Why the heck would ya steal my slippers idiot?" Ranma asked.

"Without your slippers you'll get all kinds of nasty cuts from walking bare foot everywhere, which will lead to infections since you only have one pair of slippers!! Mwuahaha!!" Ryouga laughed at his genius.

"You son of a boar, did you stumble into a crack house or somethin' on your way here?" Ranma asked incredulously.

"Two, but that has nothing to do with this!! Come down here and open the door for me, please? I've got something to show you!" Ryouga yelled.

"No way, just show it to me from there!" Ranma replied.

"Argh, you're just afraid to accept your eventual death at my hands!" Ryouga raged.

"You shut up, _you_!" Ranma shook a fist menacingly.

"_Who says that..._? Really," the Lost Boy muttered.

"Me!"

Ryouga tried the door again, and was delighted to find that it wasn't locked after all. "Oh, I turned it the wrong way..." He charged into the house screaming obscenities.

"And he was never seen again..." Ranma said solemnly.

xxx

Ten minutes later, Ranma looked up from his manga as he heard Ryouga finally get up the steps, still screaming obscenities.

"#$%!!" a squeal was then heard.

Ranma snickered.

xxx

Five minutes pass

"$%&!!"

"He must've jumped in the tub or somethin'," Ranma mumbled and went back to his manga.

xxx

Later...

"&%$!! &$%!!" Ryouga cursed.

"The sad thing is, he actually ran in here a few times..." Ranma shook his head.

And so Ryouga searched. He searched long into the afternoon, until the Tendo family finally came home and Akane lead him to Ranma and Genma's room since he was adamant about getting there. Unfortunately, by that time Ranma had moved downstairs to the family room.

xxx

End

Notes: Hmm, my attempts to use asterisk to indicate a scene change didn't work, oh well.

I'm so sorry you had to read something that was the result of my boredom. But strangely, not sorry enough to not have posted this story on the site, eh. But hey, this could have been a spamfic where the cast all speak like most people tend to. Like stumbling over words, occasionally stuttering something unintelligible out or screwing up something they were going to say by accident, surely that would have been worse than this was, for someone. Though I think it'd be funny to see Kuno or Nabiki speak like that, for some unexplainable reason. Well, I guess it's not unexplainable, I just think it'd be amusing. I'll stop now.


	2. Best Conversation EVER

The Bellow Boy

Soun Tendo sat calmly across from his old friend Genma Saotome, watching the koi in the pond. You know, the ones that Ranma and Genma hadn't accidentally killed earlier that morning.

No words were spoken for some time, until Soun brought up a question, one which had ate away at him ever since the arrival of his old training partner at his home.

"Say, Saotome,"

"What is it Tendo?" Genma responded.

"I was just wondering... Have you ever played a banjo or fiddle?" Soun stared seriously at the pond.

There was a great silence, then Genma slowly turned around to face his friend, "Did you swallow some of the tobacco in your pipe, Tendo?"

"Don't take offense my friend, I was just curious," Soun responded.

"But that was weird, Tendo," Genma stared.

"It merely seemed like you were the kind of person that would play a banjo," Soun said.

"How so?"

"You're bald, and if you put on a blue jumper, you'd look like the stereotypical 'Country bumpkin', that's all," Soun explained.

"Actually, I _do_ occasionally play a little bluegrass, but no jumper," Genma said seriously.

"No freaking way," Soun looked at him.

"Seriously," the bald man pushed his glasses up some.

"I was totally just screwing with you, Saotome," Soun blinked.

A few minutes pass by quietly.

"Hey, Saotome, use a triple negative,"

"I didn't never get no good education," Genma snickered.

"We truly have too much free time, Saotome," Soun tapped his pipe.

"The path of a bored middle aged man with no hobbies or job is fraught with peril," Genma said solemnly.

"I concur," they both stared at the sky dramatically.

xxx

"Hnngrr......"

Ranma stopped walking down the hall as he heard something.

"Huu....."

"Hmm, sounds like it's comin' from the bathroom," Ranma frowned as he leaned against the wall and listened.

"Hnnn!" a 'brap' sound was heard from inside.

"Oh..." Ranma said in understanding, this was the first time could remember that anyone had done _that_ since he'd been at the Tendo home. Strange.

"Never eating Akane's cooking again..." that was followed by an off the scale Deathblaster fart. Which made the pig-tailed boy recoil like Ryouga had just punched him.

Ranma quickly left before the smell got to him even more.

xxx

It was midnight by the time Ryouga had stumbled upon the Tendo Dojo again. He quietly walked in by way of the sliding door around back. He hadn't eaten much of anything since yesterday, having ran out of canned foods and not being able to find a market of some sort to buy anymore, so he headed for the kitchen.

To his relief he was able to find the kitchen in record time: six minutes! In three more minutes he found the refrigerator. Much to his annoyance though, there weren't any leftovers from dinner. But when Genma and Ranma Saotome were your house guests, how could there?

Anything else he could find was uncooked, and he knew if he tried to cook anything he'd most likely wake everyone up. Wait, what was that glowing thing in the trash can?

Curiously, Ryouga walked over to the trash can that was off to the side and peered in, whatever it was had been wrapped up in tin foil. Slowly, he picked it up and unwrapped it.

"Awesome, glowing trash cookies!" Ryouga silently cheered. Akane, being the nicest girl he'd known, must have wrapped them up and hid them in the trash can so that he could find them, and keep that louse Ranma from getting his hands on them. Man, that Akane was the best!

Since they were covered up and there wasn't much else in the can, he figured it'd be okay to eat them. So he eagerly popped a few in his mouth.

xxx

Fifteen or so minutes later, Ryouga had finally finished chewing those first two cookies and swallowed them. They were the best tasting cookies he'd ever eaten! He just wished that his teeth hadn't cracked while he was chewing them, if that kept happening he'd run out of teeth before he finished the cookies.

"Whoa....feelin'...wuzzay..." Ryouga mumbled as he started on his next cookies, which were his only light at the moment.

xxx

The following events were hard for Ryouga to remember. They went like this:

He started giggling.

He then wandered into the family room.

Tripped over something.

Found out it was Mousse.

Mousse explains his reasons for being there.

He wanted to kill Ranma in his sleep.

But had dropped his glasses.

Spent some time searching for them.

Then Ryouga found him.

They both went back to the kitchen and Ryouga shared his cookies.

Mousse giggled through his newly cracked teeth.

They went upstairs.

After that it got hazy for Ryouga. All he remembered was messing up someone's room with Mousse while screaming something about ridiculous cab fares.

He couldn't remember anything after that....

xxx

The first thing Ryouga saw as he woke up was the blurry form of Mousse. Looking around, all he saw were trees everywhere.

"Hey, Mousse, wake up!" he yelled.

The sometimes duck awoke after being yelled at for a little while longer. "Wha? Whozzat?"

"Ryouga, you blind idiot! Do you remember what happened last night?"

"Far too well, Ryouga, far too well..." Mousse whispered in silent terror.

"What happened? I can only remember us going upstairs and making a mess."

"Just... Just be thankful you can't remember then..." Mousse muttered.

Ryouga tried to stand up, but couldn't for some reason. Painfully, he raised his head and took a look at himself. Everything was in place, nothing missing... he was just one big bruise is all. He turned his head to stare at Mousse again, the other boy's arms and legs were twisted at awkward angles, his clothes were torn up, and his face was one big bruise.

"What the #$% happened to us?!" Ryouga bellowed.

Mousse frowned, "Going into Kasumi's room in the middle of the night, and trashing it is bad enough... But getting cookie crumbs on her bed is a death wish."

"..." Ryouga just stared.

xxx

End

Notes: Wrote this within two or so hours on and off, while watching Rocky III.

Cower in fear no longer when you see this fanfic. For I believe I am done with this story. Hope someone out there enjoyed it though.


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